on faith, love and growing up

first: best website ever. http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/011107/meaning-of-this.gif genius!

ponderings:
1. If 2007 is going down in the books as the hardest year of my life (see post "one"), then October is going down as the month of restoration. Sigh. Life is so fun. And good. And blessed. And overall, a kick in the pants.
2. Even though this month of restoration literally started at midnight on the first, this weekend was a beautiful expression of what I think the rest of this year could be for me.
3. I spent the weekend at Our Lady of the Rock, a monastery run by seven nuns on Shaw Island, in the San Juans. It was lovely and grace-filled. They raise llamas, sheep and cows and allow visitors to come, work on the farm for a day, weekend, week, etc. and will feed and house them in return. They serve raw milk (cows most definitely know what they are doing!) and veggies and meat from the farm. It was an amazing experience.
4. I really hate having a desk job. Human beings were not meant to spend their days sitting at a desk in front of a computer. I read something this morning about the importance of feeling tired at the end of the day. Not just mind-tired but body-tired. Somewhere along the line, when we buckled down to corporate consumerism, we forgot about that part of being human. And it's a shame. Actually, yes, that's exactly what it is--we should be ashamed that we have let ourselves become so lazy. Good grief.
5. All of my really great, poignant thoughts come to me while I'm in the bath.
6. I was thinking this morning that life is really hard. Adulthood is really hard. Mer said to me the other day that as kids we just want to grow up and that really, if we had any idea how hard adulthood is, we would never wish growing up on anyone. (I don't remember if that's exactly how she said it; maybe it's a combination of what she said and my response.)
7. So yes, life is really hard and sometimes it hurts like crazy. I was thinking this morning that I have always treated those hardships in one of two ways--I'm either stupid and prideful and so focused on my own dependence on myself (and the fact that I don't always think that I deserve to depend on anyone else) that I completely forget about faith and God and grace. In this case, I always end up lonely and sad and miserable. OR--and this is the sole reason why life is so amazingly awesome: I allow myself to be accepting of grace. And I allow God to give it me (because that's really just what He wants to do, for us all). And in those cases, life is so amazing, because we see that yes, it's hard and hurts, but it's ours, given to us with grace and peace and love by the Father. And in those times, He holds us high atop His shoulders and we get through it and He takes us on glorious ride through life and Heaven.
8. Sigh...
9. Sometimes, I'm so ready for heaven that I pray... okay, God you can take me now.
10. This is not one of those times. I am happier to be alive right now than I have been in months, maybe years. And life couldn't be sweeter.