A toast to 2009.

N.B.: I wrote this about a month ago, posted something else in its place and have since decided to delete that post and put this one back in its rightful place.

Starting now, if I were to shake a Magic 8 Ball and ask: Will 2009 be the best year of my life? The repeated answer would be: “It is decidedly so.” As I watched 2008 come to a close last week, I realized two things: 1). It had been a very difficult six months, and 2). Overall, the year was better than 2007 (decidedly the worst year of my life). If 2007 was the year of personal trauma, 2008 was the year of family trauma.

In June, my dad rapidly lost the ability to control his motor functions and had significant spinal surgery in July. During his surgery, I watched my mom have a 25 minute seizure, forced her into a cab (we had taken a short walk, to move around and get some air), and then forced her to get checked into the ER. (It was an internal seizure and looked, to me, far more like a stroke than a seizure. She was originally diagnosed as having a stroke.) They discovered a series of fistulas on her brain and she had brain surgery in October. For two weeks leading up to her surgery, she and I talked extensively on her desire to give me Power of Attorney, to make ultimate decisions if there were complications. That is not a conversation any daughter should have to have.

On December 15, my Sally, my beautiful black lab (she was my 13th birthday present) died. In her sleep, and next to my mom’s side of the bed. She had a great life and could rival Marley (of Marley and Me) as the World’s Worst Dog, but man, she was a great dog. In all the ways that really matter, she was a great dog.

In addition, there was the normal mess of this very, very complicated thing that we call life.

But, given all of that, here is what I know about life, after last year:
- My parents are both recovering, in every sense of the word.
- My mom’s hair is growing back. And she is the most gorgeous woman I will ever know.
- My dad allows me to be horribly flawed and real and ridiculous. And I will love his warrior heart every single day of my life.
- I am going to be an AUNT! Emily is due June 25. I shouted with glee when she told me. I cannot wait to meet this new member of our family.
- That, in the midst of true, recognizable sadness and loneliness, there is grace.
- That there are two concrete truths to life: 1). There is a Creator, and 2). There is this wacky thing called love.
- Friends make life truly sweet. To Jillian, Mer, Rebecca: I am not a sweet person at heart, but you make me try harder to be so.
- I can officially carry on with life for months at a time without therapy. Go me.
- 2009 is going to change my life forever.

For 2009:
Here is the announcement of all announcements: I am leaving Seattle. Hoorah! Finally! On July 14, I will fly to Northern Ireland and live in a teeny tiny town on the North Atlantic for four months to work at Downhill Hostel – checking folks in, giving tours, chatting it up with fellow travelers, etc. Afterwards, I want to do some extensive traveling throughout Eastern Europe, and hopefully visit the new friends I will make while I’m at the hostel (wherever they may be coming from). As for Eastern Europe, this is the current plan: Prague, Eastern Germany (particularly Dresden), Poland, Vienna, Budapest, Bucharest, Slovakia, Istanbul.

This, of course, is in addition to travels in the UK: Scotland, Republic of Ireland, London.

And then, who knows? I make life-changing decisions very easily – it’s the minor ones I have trouble with – but I want to give myself the flexibility and allowance for Northern Ireland and Eastern Europe to change my entire life. And knock my socks off.

I am, after all, going to 11 countries that I’ve never been to, and will fill several more pages of my passport. If I don’t come back a completely different person, you have my permission to slap me and send me away again. Don’t get me wrong: I don’t think there’s anything really wrong with me now – I’m fabulous and silly and caring and witty. But that’s what life is all about – change, growth, failed and exceeded expectations.

And so, for the next six months, I will live on a smaller budget than I did in college and continue to scrimp and save and save and save and work two jobs and float around in a constant state of excitement.

And then! I will become an aunt. To a baby GIRL that three weeks later I will have to say goodbye to. Ugg. I do not like the idea of having to say goodbye to this baby. I hate it, in fact, but this trip was planned before Emily got pregnant and I have wanted to get out of Washington for a decade. Baby or no baby, I know I have to do this.

Last week (when I wrote this a month ago), numb and crazed from an insane three weeks, Jillian allowed me to have a pity party for my single (yet fabulous) self. And yes, it is annoying to be very, very single, but I have to remind myself that I’m single for a very good reason – I’m not meant to stay in this area.

A toast to you, 2009. You will change my entire life, I am sure.